Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Take a good look


There are times when you look in the mirror but you don't actually see yourself in the reflection. There is a girl there but you don't quite recoginize her. Sometimes we let ourselves take what other people say or what we think they think about us and we let that mold us into someone new. The world wants you to be one way, worldly - wealthy - skinny - and submissive, but you know that you're meant to be another way, kind - charitable - unique - healthy. Its even easier to let individuals dictate how we feel about ourselves. Listening to people talk about what they like and don't like about other makes it easy for us to tear ourselves down, so that we begin to feel like we're not good enough. Is there something I can change, is there more I can do to be prettier, skinnier, more interesting.

I'd like to, one day, look at myself and just smile. To know one's self is the best attribute of all, I believe.

So here's to us! We are young, free, independent and open to all new possibilities. Let's remember that individuality is something to be proud of and as Audrey Hepurn once said "Happy girls are the prettiest girls."

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

silly little girls

one of the perks about being single and a girl is that you're allowed to get excited about boys. yes, it's slightly uncouth for you to jump around and squeal but sometimes, just sometimes, its appropriate.

7

Seven is the number of times i've seen the same guy in the morning time pulling up to the building where i work in a white loading truck. each and every morning i think to myself "seriously? how am i seeing him again?" well... i'm beginning to think that its fate throwing us together. the cosmos have decided that its time for me to be swept off my feet and thrown into the wild coaster of love. ha ha MFEO, right?

so naturally i run upstairs, grab two or three of the girls i work with. we run to the far window and gaze down at the beautiful man and his muscles as he works unloading large boxes. we talk about how cute our babies would be and the wonderful life we'd have together. when he casually looks up towards the building, we scream and jump around in hopes that he didn't see us spying on him.

but of course inside i really do hope that he saw me.

Friday, August 10, 2012

something to think about.

"If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2am clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are...You deserve a girl who can give you the most colourful life imaginable. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads."

ps i'm a reader. are you?

Monday, June 25, 2012

a little personal and a little serious

dear friend who's a boy,
we've been through years of conversations, trips, movies, late nights and sleep overs. You've loved me and expressed this for a long time. most of the time I knew you were probably kidding. a few times I realized that you weren't. there were times, usually when you were far away that I felt something more. Luckily you could see right through me and all of my insecurities. I don't blame you for moving on. You shouldn't have to wait around for me to figure myself out. You told me once that I might need therapy, to find out where my deep seeded fears of relationships stem from. I thought maybe that was your way of sheltering yourself from my lack of affection. I realize only now that you may have been right. There's a reason I cried myself to sleep that night when you first told me. It wasn't because I couldn't believe you said it. It was because I couldn't believe someone else noticed it before I did.
Thank you for being honest. Thank you for loving me all these years. And thank you for still being my friend after all I put you through.

love,
a girl who's really sorry.

- honestly thinking about the therapy. it couldn't hurt, right?




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Even though its fun being single, playing the field, doing whatever you want when you want, sometimes there are things you have to work out first before that person comes along. Sometimes it might take just getting to know yourself better. Sometimes it might mean trying new things, meeting new people and then there might be things you need to figure out that you just can't seem to do on your own. There's no shame in that.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Picnic for One

Once I knew this guy who was so funny and slightly charming in the best way possible. We had mutual friends who always made comments like "you guys should get married. you're like the same person." I never thought of him as more than a friend through other friends but more and more, at parties and gatherings, I began to wonder that maybe if I knew him better then I could feel differently. I'd also heard from some of those close friends that he might think the same about me. Sometimes waiting for guys to show up at your front door with flowers and a fun/romantic evening planned becomes more like the details of a long lost fairy tale we only heard as children. So in an effort to do something about this possible romance/friendship, I casually texted {because thats less awkward in this scenario} him and mentioned that it would be fun if we went up the canyon for a small, impromptu picnic. I offered to make my famous pb&j and promised that even though I wanted to read, he wouldn't have to. He replied back saying that it was a great idea. He mentioned he could basically squeeze me in for about 30 minutes before something else he had planned. I'll give him credit for having plans on a Sunday afternoon when I rarely have actual plans on such an afternoon but I felt sad that he'd only give me 30 minutes. I offered to do it another day if he wanted, just to see if he'd make the effort to try to come that day even for just a short time. He quickly jumped on the "Let's do it another day" wagon. I was disappointed but tried to understand that he did have plans and I'd be upset if we had made plans and he bailed.
In more of an attempt to keep my spirits high that day, I went any way. Alone.

----------------------------------------


So this is what 'Picnic for One that was suppose to be Picnic for Two' looks like.


Update:
I knew that if I threw the ball into his court, even though he couldn't go that day, he would for sure come to me another day with an equally enticing idea for us to get to know one another better.
Haven't heard from him. I have heard through mutual friends that he "hangs out" with this girl now who is really hot and not really his type.

awesome.

Friday, June 15, 2012

the facebook phenomenon

I have this friend who was dating this boy. She's a little older. He's a little younger. She's young at heart and he's mature for his age. They're both fun loving, outgoing people who like to laugh. They date casually for a few weeks, and really learned to love each others company. Just like so many relationships, they suddenly found themselves in an awkward realm when he decided to take off to Alaska for the summer to work in the great outdoors.
We'll still date, just long distance.
There's always Skype Dates.
I know lots of people who dated long distance and it worked out for them.
The time will fly by and then we'll be together before we know it.
As soon as he was gone, she missed him terribly. Thats the problem with being in the "obsessed" part of your relationship when one of the two decides to leave for four months. They chat a time or two but their schedules just didn't match. Slowly jealously sets in and they begin to fight. Not real big fights. We should call it bickering instead. Little snips here, little snaps there. Jab jab jab.
A few heated phone calls and then its over.

Here's where Facebook ruins lives:

A few dates in, she decided to change her status to say that she was in a relationship with the boy. Everyone liked it. People commented you're so cute together! Can't wait to get the announcement in the mail. Etc.
The morning after they broke up she wanted to change her status but the beautiful {sarcasm} part of facebook is that it documents the happy change AND the sad/angry change. She didn't want everyone to see that suddenly she wasn't in the relationship with the boy and she definitely doesn't want all of the notifications that say Oh no, what happened? What??? You guys were so cute together! What happened. and the classic Call me from the random girl you never talk to you.
We figured out the complicated privacy settings and changed things so that when she changed her status from In a relationship to single it would no longer show up on anyone's feed.
Hallelujah!
Weeks later. He's deleted her as a friend on Facebook.

seriously?

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Imagine a staunch British lord telling his extremely proper eldest daughter...

"I want a good man for you. A brave man.
Go find a cowboy in the middle-west
 and bring him back to shake us up a bit."



YES, PLEASE!!!!


PS do you watch downton abbey? if not, you should.




Adendum to  my previous post:
my rantings were a little harsh. I apologize. I love all friends. single, married, mothers/fathers, etc. 

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

reality tv

I can not and will not deny that sometimes I get sucked into watching the Bachelor/Bachelorette on ABC. Last night I was watching the first episode of this new season where all of the eligible bachelors come in and introduce themselves to the bachelorette, Emily. As they each come in, trying to be unique so she'll actually remember them when the rose ceremony comes around, I thought to myself "This is why dating is ridiculously hard." Out of 25 guys, there are only 3 that seem normal and at least 8 who I would consider Freak Show creepy. One came in with an egg in which he declared that he would carry around with him like a Love Fern showing how much he cared. There was another guy who dressed up as a grandmother. Yes, a grandmother. Why on earth he think that would impress her is beyond me. Did she remember him? Probably. As the guy NOT to pick at the end of the night. There were others who made fools of themselves by flying in on a helicopter to stand out or making a bobble head of himself and one of Emily. Some came nervously up the path and all they could muster out was "You're so beautiful." Really? That's it?

My point is: This is what we have to choose from?!

Obviously not. The beauty of actual reality is that its usually not set up like this. One girl, twenty five guys and four weeks of scrambling for attention. But between these 'reality romance tv shows', growing up with Happily Ever After stories and then all the overzealous Nicholas Sparks books, it feels like we single daters out there have no chance at a normal, healthy relationships. We have to constantly remind ourselves that being whisked away on an airplane to China for a "one-on-one" date or meeting Prince Charming on a horse in the forest is not only unrealistic, its just plain stupid.

I would love to hear how any of our married friends out there met their husbands. Leave a comment with your story. If you're not married but dating someone great and have an uplifting dating story, please share.




Friday, May 11, 2012

the beginning of a great idea.

This is how this new little blog got its start.

The last few months or even years, I've been feeling a lot of pressure about my age, my living location, my marital status and my lack of children. Some of it comes from friends who don't realize it, {the blogger world for sure}, some of it comes from Utah-Mormon culture and some comes from my family who unknowlingly pressure me because they love me so much and they just want me to be happy. 
Do you have to be married with children to be happy? ;) 
Some days I think "I don't care what they think." Other days I want to cry because I feel like a disappointment to my loved ones. The other night, after having a lovely dinner with a few of my close family members, I had this idea. I thought to myself "They probably don't really understand what its like being me, single at 28 and actually happy." So here's my sort of silly but exciting new project...
a new blog: a blog about life as a single, little older gal, strong member of the church and actively doing things that make her happy. The best news is, I'm going to actually dedicate time to funny dating stories and even have guest writers such as other single gals who can give their input as well. If you don't think this sounds amusing, you're probably more interesting than me :) 


There will be all sorts of topics, some embarrassing, funny, sad and happy ones too. 
  • Awkward dates and Great dates
  • Things you wish you could tell your married friends
  • Things you wish you could tell your aunts/uncles/family members
  • Words to the wise for the single guys out there
  • Reasons why its not appropriate to be bitter
  • God’s plan and how you fit into it all
  • The "hang outs"
  • The dates you dream about
  • The dreams you wish you were brave even to reach for
  • etc
Get the idea? If you know of some ladies {or even gents} who could sure use a support system, send them our way. We're all in it together and really, who doesn't love reading a good awkward first date story?!


To kick things off, I'd like to start by sharing a little story that I've told a time or two to break the ice with new friends. In high school, I had this friend and she asked if I wanted to go out with her friend. We would double with her and another boy. I was always up for a good time so I happily agreed. We met up with these two boys and my date, Justin, was cute, tall and seemed really funny. Its been so long that I'm not even sure what we did on that first date. I'm also not sure if this all happened on one date or over the course of 2 or 3 dates. Nonetheless, I was having a great time with Justin. I really thought this was going somewhere. As we were talking, I mentioned where my mom was from. He said "oh hey, my great grandma lives there!" Well, when you realize you're talking abut the same small town in southern Utah, you have to ask "Whats her name? I wonder if I know her." Well that was the wrong question.
Yep. You guessed. We were cousins. We share a great grandmother. Somewhere along the lines we'd never met at any of those large/uncomfortable family reunions and to this day, I haven't seen him since. Please don't ask me if I kissed him before the revelation. I don't want to answer.

And you wonder how I'm not married yet! I'm traumatized still from dating my cousin!!!

Welcome.

Hello. I'm so glad you've come by and hope you'll enjoy what we do here. Please feel free to leave comment, questions, advice, etc. This is a "light hearted" project that is meant to uplift and shed some light on the amazing women in the blogger world who haven't yet found Mr. Right or given birth to those adorable little ones. We're still fun, creative and lovable!

So sit back, read and laugh a little along with us.

enjoy.