a little personal and a little serious

dear friend who's a boy,
we've been through years of conversations, trips, movies, late nights and sleep overs. You've loved me and expressed this for a long time. most of the time I knew you were probably kidding. a few times I realized that you weren't. there were times, usually when you were far away that I felt something more. Luckily you could see right through me and all of my insecurities. I don't blame you for moving on. You shouldn't have to wait around for me to figure myself out. You told me once that I might need therapy, to find out where my deep seeded fears of relationships stem from. I thought maybe that was your way of sheltering yourself from my lack of affection. I realize only now that you may have been right. There's a reason I cried myself to sleep that night when you first told me. It wasn't because I couldn't believe you said it. It was because I couldn't believe someone else noticed it before I did.
Thank you for being honest. Thank you for loving me all these years. And thank you for still being my friend after all I put you through.

love,
a girl who's really sorry.

- honestly thinking about the therapy. it couldn't hurt, right?




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Even though its fun being single, playing the field, doing whatever you want when you want, sometimes there are things you have to work out first before that person comes along. Sometimes it might take just getting to know yourself better. Sometimes it might mean trying new things, meeting new people and then there might be things you need to figure out that you just can't seem to do on your own. There's no shame in that.